WTH was THAT all about? Momster has been trying to get me to "accidentally meet up" with my uBPD/ASPDbrother for a few months now. I went NC with him since Feb/Mar of this year and if I bump into him anywhere I just stay polite or avoid. Sociopaths love to gloss things over. Pretend like stuff never happened. As if he never threatened me. As if he hasn't been stalking me and the bf at my home. Shrug. I love their version of reality. For the second time in a week, Momster made it possible for the two former "buddies" to be at the same place at the same time again. BPDs love this don't they? Chaos, drama, and keeping you off balance to create the f.o.g. Well she finally got her wish. I suppose she thinks this means I am somehow going to celebrate the holidays with the whole nutty bunch of them. WRONG. I DON'T FORGET what happened and continues to happen.
So uBPD/ASPDb sits down for a whole afternoon's insanity. Believe me, the coffee wasn't strong enough for me. He sat there spilling his guts about how Momster is driving him bonkers and how she is this.....she is that...trying to draw me out. I think perhaps he IS a little frustrated with her. He has to totally take care of her now. HE has to "parentify" her now. He's the golden child and I am painted black. As one of my FIRST boundaries with all of them was not to rescue them or work with people who continue to abuse me. He knows this, I reminded him. He tries to say he's not the bad guy in all this and he does not hate me. Maybe he doesn't, but he sure can't respect me enough to stop lying or disrespecting me! I sat there listening
to the swirling stories of b.s. that this whole year has been for him. I also heard some of the most degrading language pointed at women that I've heard--well, since the last time I spoke to him. I know I let a little too much out. I can hear them on the phone right now triangulating as we speak. I feel sorry for him, mid 40s and he's stuck with Momster and an uBPDwife. Good luck with that.
After the whole weird discussion in which he admitted stalking me FOR Momster and possibly cheating with a co-worker.....he sat there & acted like nothing was wrong. Nothing had happened between us! He even offered to help me out for a few days. I sat there with my jaw on the floor. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!?! I totally snapped when I got back home. I know that I let out TMI to him. I know that's
what he wanted to do. I know that he's a total sucker and has no filter. He will just take whatever I told him and use it against me....dancing the Karpman's triangle with Momster.
I got home & felt violated. Walked into Momster's trap totally. I must admit, I miss the fake friendship my brother had with me. At least I didn't tell him too much. He knows nothing about my personal life. I just vented about Momster a little. Whoopee like she doesn't know I'm pissed at her. After a load of panic attacks later...I decided I'm not letting these freaks ruin my holiday. I was going to opt out of some plans
with the bf & his daughter this week.
Radical acceptance, Ahimsa, remember that. He will never change. He has to be whoever he needs to be for whoever he is with at that time. He's the frustrated brother to my face and Momster's Golden child & spy behind my back. There's no changing this. He's never wrong. Get this through your head already!!! Not his fault for dancing the triangle with the family, afterall, I just recently stopped dancing myself.
Momster...well there's no changing that mess either. I can either chose to be upset & cry every time they corner me, or I can just pretend they don't bother me. I think that--just ignoring their weak attempts at getting me/you back into the fold--drives them the craziest. I wonder what they will think of next?
Don't break NC even by accident. Don't let them break your boundaries. Ignore all attempts they make this holiday season. Stay strong everyone!!!!
So uBPD/ASPDb sits down for a whole afternoon's insanity. Believe me, the coffee wasn't strong enough for me. He sat there spilling his guts about how Momster is driving him bonkers and how she is this.....she is that...trying to draw me out. I think perhaps he IS a little frustrated with her. He has to totally take care of her now. HE has to "parentify" her now. He's the golden child and I am painted black. As one of my FIRST boundaries with all of them was not to rescue them or work with people who continue to abuse me. He knows this, I reminded him. He tries to say he's not the bad guy in all this and he does not hate me. Maybe he doesn't, but he sure can't respect me enough to stop lying or disrespecting me! I sat there listening
to the swirling stories of b.s. that this whole year has been for him. I also heard some of the most degrading language pointed at women that I've heard--well, since the last time I spoke to him. I know I let a little too much out. I can hear them on the phone right now triangulating as we speak. I feel sorry for him, mid 40s and he's stuck with Momster and an uBPDwife. Good luck with that.
After the whole weird discussion in which he admitted stalking me FOR Momster and possibly cheating with a co-worker.....he sat there & acted like nothing was wrong. Nothing had happened between us! He even offered to help me out for a few days. I sat there with my jaw on the floor. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!?! I totally snapped when I got back home. I know that I let out TMI to him. I know that's
what he wanted to do. I know that he's a total sucker and has no filter. He will just take whatever I told him and use it against me....dancing the Karpman's triangle with Momster.
I got home & felt violated. Walked into Momster's trap totally. I must admit, I miss the fake friendship my brother had with me. At least I didn't tell him too much. He knows nothing about my personal life. I just vented about Momster a little. Whoopee like she doesn't know I'm pissed at her. After a load of panic attacks later...I decided I'm not letting these freaks ruin my holiday. I was going to opt out of some plans
with the bf & his daughter this week.
Radical acceptance, Ahimsa, remember that. He will never change. He has to be whoever he needs to be for whoever he is with at that time. He's the frustrated brother to my face and Momster's Golden child & spy behind my back. There's no changing this. He's never wrong. Get this through your head already!!! Not his fault for dancing the triangle with the family, afterall, I just recently stopped dancing myself.
Momster...well there's no changing that mess either. I can either chose to be upset & cry every time they corner me, or I can just pretend they don't bother me. I think that--just ignoring their weak attempts at getting me/you back into the fold--drives them the craziest. I wonder what they will think of next?
Don't break NC even by accident. Don't let them break your boundaries. Ignore all attempts they make this holiday season. Stay strong everyone!!!!
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