July 22, 2010, 09:14:27 PM
Hi all again.
Yes, I broke NC (no contact/communication) with the f.o.o. to support my ensis. I am never doing that again. I went to a "family function" only because I try supporting her and this event was focused on her. She has her issues too but has not been as how shall we say....."wicked" as the rest of the BPDs in the f.o.o.? I show up and everyone else is late. The f.o.o. dictated to her WHEN she could schedule HER event...how narcissistic of them. They show up late because the event is not about them. They do it to everyone. Then they told her WHAT they were bringing to eat, taking her choices away. I hate to say I told you so, but I have.
The event:
1. The uBPDsil (sister in law) proceeded to wave a knife around while talking (everyone in f.o.o. knows I was threatened by uBPD x-boyfriend/fiance with kitchen knives repeatedly). When I objected to this action, she made "psycho" knife thrusts in the air and laughed. She said she gets people to listen this way. Unbelievable.
She is in mental health care and should know better. She then ____ed about everything she could and ranked on ensis. Even her gifts were all about uBPDsil.
2. Momster shows up hours late and gets all waify. "But I cooked, but I this, but I that...blah blah blah waify me".... She infers the reason I have been distant with the family is that I'm nuts. In front of everyone mind you. Yup that's me. Has nothing to do with f.o.o. being busted for stalking me (March 2010). Nothing to do with abuse. F.o.o. then discusses and laughs about child abuse from her while growing up. Really awful stories. She sits there with a smile on her face while uBPDbrother (uBPDb) recounts tales of my deceased brother being abused as a child by her. Yes, rank on a dead man now. That's classy!!!
3. uBPDb uses the event and a lull in the conversation to ask me if I am breaking up with my bf. They hate him, bf's normal. uBPDb starts full on interrogation of my life in front of the whole clan. He has been stalking me for months and alludes to that fact several times. A few minutes later he asks when I am marrying said bf. I point out it's crazy that he is asking this right after "when are you breaking up with him?". He then grills me about my job, bfs job, if I am moving, where to, when, and other weird
controlling questions. He acts like a jilted lover, not a brother. He does this rapid-fire so much so I am shocked by the questions. Lets all remember this "man" has threatened quite a few people in my life, my bf, AND me several times in the last year. I have told him I will call police if it happens again. To avoid the conversation, I excuse myself to the bathroom. I calm down and come back out. He accuses me of being bulimic. I have lost weight but from working out. uBPDb then makes comments about me not working with f.o.o. in business, making it seem like I am nuts and lazy. These are my boundaries he is treading on. Not to work for them, not to enable them, and I have spelled this out months ago to them all. Later on, he grabs my shoulders in kitchen. I say this is inappropriate touching. I did not want it and he proceeds to tell me I am too thin. Again, he references me being bulimic. BPDs cannot understand change well and put a negative spin on anything you do when you are "painted black". He then uses the family's "line" which is, "why are you being such a stranger?" Making ME look like I am avoiding them and fighting with them. The last 3 parties in the f.o.o. have been at his house and I was not invited for calling him on his abuse.
Post-event: Momster & uBPDb are getting waify again. They think since I went to this party that I am back on the farm as it were. My boundaries are strong. Momster asks me to do work for her twice since the
event over the phone. This woman didn't call me for 2 months straight btw. I will not help her. Simple as that. uBPDb has continually called my phone treating me like I am on his "staff" again. I ignore him.
There has been nothing but drama since this event. I have been abused on the phone ever since.
I had been living MY life for months in quiet bliss aside from the occasional stalking now.
My f.o.o. has painted me black to everyone in town and old friends. The old friends believe it? There is a smear campaign of epic proportions going on. Now that I went to this event, it has taken me DAYS to get my tranquility back. The knife incident alone was enough to trigger me for a week. I will not attend another family function again. Not even to support my ensis who got abused all night by them too. Her and her boyfriend who's too enmeshed to notice. I will request a calm meeting when other f.o.o. is not around.
Warning to others with BPDs in their lives: Don't break NC, don't visit them alone, and don't think you are doing anyone a favor by "supporting them". Save yourself first. Medium chill must be followed with characters like this and it was a blessing to learn about. I am totally NC with uBPDb and uBPDsil again. I will only see Momster on occasion, on my terms, and leave when it is too much. I refuse to see ensis and Momster together without my bf. I will not be ganged up on again. I will not have them emotionally terrorize me and subtly threaten me. They are simply the most evil people I have ever met. They make me miserable, doubt myself, and question everything. Best word for all of them is predatory.
Hi all again.
Yes, I broke NC (no contact/communication) with the f.o.o. to support my ensis. I am never doing that again. I went to a "family function" only because I try supporting her and this event was focused on her. She has her issues too but has not been as how shall we say....."wicked" as the rest of the BPDs in the f.o.o.? I show up and everyone else is late. The f.o.o. dictated to her WHEN she could schedule HER event...how narcissistic of them. They show up late because the event is not about them. They do it to everyone. Then they told her WHAT they were bringing to eat, taking her choices away. I hate to say I told you so, but I have.
The event:
1. The uBPDsil (sister in law) proceeded to wave a knife around while talking (everyone in f.o.o. knows I was threatened by uBPD x-boyfriend/fiance with kitchen knives repeatedly). When I objected to this action, she made "psycho" knife thrusts in the air and laughed. She said she gets people to listen this way. Unbelievable.
She is in mental health care and should know better. She then ____ed about everything she could and ranked on ensis. Even her gifts were all about uBPDsil.
2. Momster shows up hours late and gets all waify. "But I cooked, but I this, but I that...blah blah blah waify me".... She infers the reason I have been distant with the family is that I'm nuts. In front of everyone mind you. Yup that's me. Has nothing to do with f.o.o. being busted for stalking me (March 2010). Nothing to do with abuse. F.o.o. then discusses and laughs about child abuse from her while growing up. Really awful stories. She sits there with a smile on her face while uBPDbrother (uBPDb) recounts tales of my deceased brother being abused as a child by her. Yes, rank on a dead man now. That's classy!!!
3. uBPDb uses the event and a lull in the conversation to ask me if I am breaking up with my bf. They hate him, bf's normal. uBPDb starts full on interrogation of my life in front of the whole clan. He has been stalking me for months and alludes to that fact several times. A few minutes later he asks when I am marrying said bf. I point out it's crazy that he is asking this right after "when are you breaking up with him?". He then grills me about my job, bfs job, if I am moving, where to, when, and other weird
controlling questions. He acts like a jilted lover, not a brother. He does this rapid-fire so much so I am shocked by the questions. Lets all remember this "man" has threatened quite a few people in my life, my bf, AND me several times in the last year. I have told him I will call police if it happens again. To avoid the conversation, I excuse myself to the bathroom. I calm down and come back out. He accuses me of being bulimic. I have lost weight but from working out. uBPDb then makes comments about me not working with f.o.o. in business, making it seem like I am nuts and lazy. These are my boundaries he is treading on. Not to work for them, not to enable them, and I have spelled this out months ago to them all. Later on, he grabs my shoulders in kitchen. I say this is inappropriate touching. I did not want it and he proceeds to tell me I am too thin. Again, he references me being bulimic. BPDs cannot understand change well and put a negative spin on anything you do when you are "painted black". He then uses the family's "line" which is, "why are you being such a stranger?" Making ME look like I am avoiding them and fighting with them. The last 3 parties in the f.o.o. have been at his house and I was not invited for calling him on his abuse.
Post-event: Momster & uBPDb are getting waify again. They think since I went to this party that I am back on the farm as it were. My boundaries are strong. Momster asks me to do work for her twice since the
event over the phone. This woman didn't call me for 2 months straight btw. I will not help her. Simple as that. uBPDb has continually called my phone treating me like I am on his "staff" again. I ignore him.
There has been nothing but drama since this event. I have been abused on the phone ever since.
I had been living MY life for months in quiet bliss aside from the occasional stalking now.
My f.o.o. has painted me black to everyone in town and old friends. The old friends believe it? There is a smear campaign of epic proportions going on. Now that I went to this event, it has taken me DAYS to get my tranquility back. The knife incident alone was enough to trigger me for a week. I will not attend another family function again. Not even to support my ensis who got abused all night by them too. Her and her boyfriend who's too enmeshed to notice. I will request a calm meeting when other f.o.o. is not around.
Warning to others with BPDs in their lives: Don't break NC, don't visit them alone, and don't think you are doing anyone a favor by "supporting them". Save yourself first. Medium chill must be followed with characters like this and it was a blessing to learn about. I am totally NC with uBPDb and uBPDsil again. I will only see Momster on occasion, on my terms, and leave when it is too much. I refuse to see ensis and Momster together without my bf. I will not be ganged up on again. I will not have them emotionally terrorize me and subtly threaten me. They are simply the most evil people I have ever met. They make me miserable, doubt myself, and question everything. Best word for all of them is predatory.
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