My brother banged on the door & DEMANDED to talk to me around 3 pm today. I told him I was busy, he sounded angry like his voice was hissing. "I don't care, just get down here, it is important." Once I got downstairs, he wanted me to go sit in the truck & talk to me. I refused --as I reminded him, because he had threatened me in the hallway to Mom the beginning of last month. To which he said I "had anger issues and hated Mom & him so much". The first thing he says is I "am going to get thrown out of the family building Dec. 1st. and will be homeless." Threat #1.
Wants to talk to me in the truck so "Male tenant won't hear us talking through his door and female tenant too."#2 Him admitting tenants listen through the walls to what we are doing or that he does the same.
So at this point I am scared & shaking in front of him. He is leaning in my doorway in a threatening pose. He outweighs me by 200 lbs. He explains that Mom is strapped for money, goes on about outrageous figures-obvious lies, and has no way to pay it...."because she is paying for EVERY ONE'S (guilt to me) electric bill." He says "he just found out from Mom and Mom's crazy and doesn't tell her anything." This is him projecting. Then he goes on to say that he ignores me and he does not know why I "hate him & Mom so much" Projecting again. I remind him that he is always here at the building up in my business (aka stalking), to which he replies he is "just taking care of the building.". I guess he does not know I heard his voice on Mom's answering machine (she played it IN FRONT OF ME as a threat) in March of '10 reporting to Mom every movement I made in the house of a morning. Proof of stalking. I also bring up that that they have treated me like shit for two solid years and he expects me to kiss their asses? Then I remind him yet again that he threatened me in the hallway downstairs last month. He questions my version of reality, says I heard it wrong, says he told MOM she should go upstairs and "have a little talk with me". I tell him he's lying to my face, I heard it plain as day and it was a threat.
He goes on to remind me again of the threat of being thrown out if I do not help him move a large object. I tell him your male friend can't help you? That wife of yours can't help you (who is also BPD?)? He says his friend's ass is too fat to fit in the car and wife is useless and destroy the large object if they attempt help him. This is how he treats his wife & best friend. Then you wonder why I don't want to be around for his abuse. He says, "I have no one else to help me, if I had a hologram of myself, I would do it, that is why I am asking you." I agreed to help, as long as I won't be screamed at if anything goes wrong or the object is damaged in some way. I also want help moving something for myself too. I ask for a week lead in time, not right now. Then he says AGAIN it is for the building and to save my home. I tell him he & Mom haven't given a shit about me in the last 2 years, my finances, or my health, WHY should I help them out now? That no one cared when I was sick, that no one cared when I had my sister file a missing person's report on me in Feb this year. Then I said I don't care what happens to the building, that I have options and I won't be homeless if the building is sold and I am "thrown out" as he says.
He became absolutely infuriated at this. The thought that I had other options and did not care what happened to the building. That his threats and manipulation hadn't worked to get me to help him move the object. At this I am shaking in fear because he is wild-eyed and has stepped further into my doorway, leaning over me in a physically threatening way. He tells me I am crazy, that I have anger issues, that I slammed the door in his face yesterday (bold faced lies, he cornered me in the garden and wouldn't leave me alone, I excused myself and went inside,shut the door) , that I hate him & Mom, that I smoke crack in the house, that I shoot Oxy-Codone in my apartment, that I am psychotic. Hmmmm projection?
He stepped up his anger, he was waving his arms saying he does not care about the building or the assholes in it, that he is fed up and doesn't care if I get tossed out on my ass, that he does everything for this building etc etc. That Mom is crazy, that I am crazy, that I am a drug addict--again. I am getting more afraid. I am yelling because he is yelling at me. I tell him that he is threatening me again and I am "done". This time I slam the door shut & lock it. I am afraid for my safety, he looks so psychotic. He yells through the door, "Yeah, that isn't anger issues, you just slammed the door in my face." I yell back, "Yeah because you just threatened me again and called me a drug addict". He continues to yell as he is walking through garage at me. He says "Fine, go shoot Oxy Codone or whatever it is you do in that apartment!!!' LOUD, I am sure the tenants can hear the fight. I yell back "Yeah LIKE I HAVE THE MONEY FOR THAT ASSHOLE!" He yells something back. I yell back "I don't want anything to do with you & your crazy mother!!"
He slams doors, leaves in a huff. I am shaking and afraid for my safety again. Why hasn't the abuse hot line (VIBS) gotten back to my email yet? Why does this threatening behavior happen every month? Why do I have to fear for my life & safety all the time living here? I left an abusive man to "come home" to THIS treatment? Why can't I have a normal family? Why do they always accuse me of being crazy, angry, and drug addicted? They are the ones that are crazy & angry!! Who knows, maybe they are drug addicted. Maybe that's why none of them can pay their bills!!! They fight with me every chance they get, even when they are asking ME FOR HELP!! Imagine, how broke & destitute I have been in the last 2 years and THEY ARE ASKING ME FOR FINANCIAL HELP.
God help me. I can't stand living here anymore.
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